Here are a few links so you can look into it: http://onceiwasaman.blogspot.com/ || http://purseboy.wordpress.com/ || http://inanimatetf.blogspot.com/
If you were so inclined, you can peruse through those links and find some others. Theres even additional sources outside of that sphere like over at fictionmania.tv, where they have some few hundred stories pertaining to the matter.
Now, having dabbled in some RP in the past with other TGers I know this isn't exactly everyone's cup of tea, so don't think I'm trying to push my own delight onto you. But, I'd like to try to get my idea here with this topic. This inanimate object fetish is to crossdreaming/autogynephilia, what CDing/AGing is to the TG community at large, mostly ignored and not very well liked (in my experience).
And as such, I doubt anyone has done any cross-referencing which may shine further light on AGP as a whole.
Back to my original idea here: What is it between the 2 distinctly separate (but similar) fetishes that shares common ground? The only thing that I can think of is femininity as a symbol.
I'll let that sink in, and move onto my next topic.
I hypothesize that all this AGP / Inanimate stuff I'm experiencing is the RESULT of something else, not the cause (of anything). That is to say, that my AGP is one of the many compulsive behaviors I exhibit- to go along with overeating, or overspending.
My best guess as to what this cause is, is that I indeed have some sort of identity dysphoria. As I've mentioned previously, I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that I am a TS- by acknowledging the fact that I've wanted to be a girl since well before the sexual stage.
Assuming these ideas hold any weight, it would seem like the only true treatment would be to start the process of transitioning and see if that makes my compulsions go away and make me a happier individual. But theres still a couple of things standing in my way: 1. I couldn't be "passable," and thats a big deal to me. 2. I really doubt I'm feeling the same kind of urgency that I see expressed on various TS youtube videos for transitioning [seems like a different mindset], and 3. I have absolutely no resources for such an undertaking.
So basically, the only thing that *might* fix me is something I can never achieve. Which means, there really is no scratching this itch... And I'm not sure of what to hope for.
Does anybody smoke pot? Is it stuff like this that make people smoke pot? I think I'd like to try it.
I am not so sure that autogynephilia is actually in itself a "condition". In the literal sense it is the pathological love of oneself as a woman. It presupposes a sexual connotation according to Blanchard and the hypothesis is as far as science is concerned a slight of hand rather than serious scientific investigation.
ReplyDeleteI think the issue is whether you are gender dysphoric (gender depressed) because you experience a need to or barriers to express your femininity or if you are suffering from depression because your body is simply the wrong body.
To heal with the former I believe you need something quite different that to heal the latter. While the former is really a matter of self expression, and therefore requires investigation of oneself, the latter is simply a repair of something that was never right.
If the urgency once uncovered is not intense enough and external barriers such as resources are thought of as insurmountable, then a large danger exists in proceeding to something irreversible. However, not every form of gender depression requires such drastic a step.
While smoking pot may be fun for a little while it is really not an answer either.
Nice to be able to look from the outside and see what my "interest" is called. Fascinating.
ReplyDelete